Thank you for inviting me, Cracko Art Group. One of the best nights I’ve ever had. More to come…
Before you start reading, please be advised that I am NOT a professional. This topic is so subjective, and it depends on so many things such as who dumped who? Was there a third party involved? Did anyone get killed? Were animals injured?
What I’m trying to say is… This list comes from my own personal experience. Well… Kind of. So here you go!
10. Don’t make any eye contact. Wear horse blinkers.
9. No matter what, don’t bring up the past. Just say hello. Full stop. And walk away with dignity.
8. Always be at least 5 feet apart, which means NO physical contact whatsoever, and strictly no hugging. Not even that friendly hug with the awkward pat on the back. You wouldn’t want to feel that electric jolt if you’re still not over your ex.
7. If you are forced to sit together, don’t sit in front of each other. Sit side by side and make sure you apply tips 8 and 10.
6. Do not. I repeat, do not call his/her mom for tips on how to get your ex boyfriend/girlfriend back. That’s just lame.
5. No matter what, it’s not the end of the world. However, no ice cream in your freezer is, so make sure you stock up!
4. Do something you’ve never done before. Throw water balloons at your neighbour, but don’t blame me if you get into trouble.
3. Go for a holiday. Here’s a good website to visit : http://www.airasia.com because everyone can fly. And you’re free now, so fly!
2. Just smile and wave…
1. Continue spreading the love. And I don’t mean spreading it THAT way! Love like you’ve never been hurt. Turn the music up, and DANCE! That’s what I’ll do…
Who would’ve thought it would come to this…
My first memory of you is a blur… Not much of an impression to be honest. I don’t even remember where and when it happened. I guess we said our hellos, exchanged names, and talked about home (what else could we have talked about?).
I can’t recall if we did meet again. Come to think of it now, it did feel like years after we did, and it was always at night, and we were always partying. We never said much at that time, I guess I didn’t like your face and the colour of your socks…
That went on for a while. Until one day…
We started hanging out… Talked and ate a lot. And for the first time, I saw you in daylight and I thought, “Oh, his face isn’t that bad after all, and he’s wearing flip flops, so no socks!” From then on, a bond was created. Even we couldn’t describe what we had, but who are we to question these things when we can sit back, relax, and enjoy it. You called us ‘The Deadly Combo’ (not that we’re capable of killing anyone with our awesomeness… We’ll leave that to Poh the Panda).
I shall call you a pleasant surprise. It was unexpected, like your mum’s back-hand special face whack. I started asking myself… “What is this I feel?” “Why the butterflies?” “Why the urge to hold you? Smell you… Mess up your hair… Sniff your armpits…”
After much deliberation, and seeing our phone bills going off the roof… We finally embraced each other and experienced a roller coaster ride of emotions. Scared, excited, happy, nervous, annoyed, frustrated, angry, etc. You name it, we felt it.
So here we are… In the present. Making plans while we’re holding hands… It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.
*If you want to think that this is a love story, so be it… Imagination, meet everyone. Everyone, meet Imagination.
DO IT WRONG! : I heard you’re brother fell of a horse and now your doing all the housework for you’re mom.
DO IT RIGHT! : I heard your brother fell off a horse and now you’re doing all the housework for your mom.
DO IT WRONG! : I had alot to eat at my aunts house. That’s mean I’m full.
DO IT RIGHT! : I had a lot to eat at my aunt’s house. That means I’m full.
DO IT WRONG! : Were heading home now. Its late and everyone look like they face is about to drop off.
DO IT RIGHT! : We’re heading home now. It’s late and everyone looks like their faces are about to drop off.
DO IT WRONG! : “Your invited to my pet leechs party. Its going to be bloody amazing… Are you coming?” “Definately!”
DO IT RIGHT! : “You’re invited to my pet leech’s party. It’s going to be bloody amazing… Are you coming?” “Definitely!”
DO IT WRONG! : Hey! Congrates to you’re sister for winning the sexy toes contest!
DO IT RIGHT! : Hey! Congrats to your sister for winning the sexiest toes contest!
*It’s not easy coming up with sentences containing grammatical errors so I’m going to end the fun here. Definitely NOT a ‘no brainer’.
In bed I sit,
In bed I eat.
In bed I cry,
In bed I lie.
In bed I hug,
In bed I bug.
In bed I sleep,
In bed I weep.
In bed I’m safe,
In bed I give grace.
That’s my bed. What about yours?
1. He/She accepts the good AND bad.
2. He/She makes your mom laugh.
3. He/She kisses you when you have garlic AND onion breath.
4. He/She takes care of himself/herself.
5. He/She doesn’t mind getting dirty. Doing housework that is. What were you thinking…
6. He/She has nice teeth. Nice teeth means you will have nice cam-whoring pictures.
7. He/She can cook. But don’t blame him/her if you put on weight from all the eating… And even if you grow fat, you will have more to love! So yeay!
8. He/She doesn’t mind getting wet. In the rain that is… Again, what were you thinking.
9. He/She leaves you notes to let you know that he/she is thinking about you. In other words, a sucker for romance… Unless you don’t like being romanced, then you can scrap this tip off.
10. And finally… He/She makes you laugh. Remember, the way to a man/woman’s heart is not through his/her belly… It is through his/her HA-HA-HA.
And this concludes Cassie’s love-tips.
*I am no love expert. So if anything fails, or doesn’t work in your favour, don’t blame me. ~le wink~